fbpx
Site logo

--- Advertisement ---

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors

It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye…

For some kids, this time of year brings the annual ritual of saying good bye to friends who are sailing off into the sunset, only to be seen again moments later by Snapchat, Instagram, FaceTime, or that old fashioned medium…e-mail! We talk a lot about taking care of the experience of leaving, but what of the experience of being left behind?

As children grow older, and their real-time social lives becomes more and more independent of their parents, parents and caregivers have an opportunity to recognize the challenges that come with saying goodbye. Key to going through healthy change is helping your child integrate the experience. Expecting kids to just ‘make new friends next year’ or ‘you’ll see them again, don’t worry’ doesn’t honour the grief and loss feelings which can come up with each new separation.

Even when the experience of being left behind is familiar, we still owe it to them, and to ourselves, to ensure there is a clear recognition and appreciation for the role that friend had in your child’s life.

A few ways to do this:

  • Create a memory book (online or together as a an scrapbook project)
  • Have t-shirts, tote bags, or hoodies printed with ‘BFF’ type messages on them
  • Set up monthly Skype dates with the kids – especially if the whole family is close

With social media making ‘closure and goodbye’ an entirely new construct, our psyches and our sense of place in the world can still be shifted into positive acceptance by physical rituals, objects, and events. Your child may use Snapchat or other apps to connect, and have a 100 day or longer ‘snapstreak’ with the friend who is leaving – if that’s the case, do they really need to do something to mark the friends departure? In my opinion, yes.

Letting our bodies and hearts come to a place that recognizes the emotions that arise with separation is important. Practicing being present with goodbyes allows us to know our own strengths and capabilities in the face of loss. Loss will always be part of building relationships, there’s some awful truth to the cliché that we can’t love without knowing the pain of losing. Allowing and supporting the child who stays to experience the fullness of that loss can increase capacity, resilience, and perspective.

If your child is exhibiting worrisome signs (prolonged changes in sleeping, eating, low mood, or communication difficulties), it may be worth checking in with your school counsellor or another professional to gain some insight and other tools to assist with this transition time.

About the Author

Erica Dolsen is a counsellor and social worker, with a private practice in Bangkok and online. She specializes in working with adolescents and pre-teens, and has significant experience supporting people in recovery from addiction.

It’s her belief that everyone deserves to be heard and seen, in order to integrate growth and facilitate positive change. She works with evidence based practices such as CBT, bodily-inquiry and mindfulness, and various tools from the wisdom traditions of the world. She can be found @dolsencousel on social networks, or at www.dolsencounsellingservices.com.

Register your email address here and we’ll notify you when a new article gets uploaded.

Pssst... like what you're reading?

Join our community and never miss an event, post or update!

Just enter your email address below:

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors

Follow Us!

Upcoming Events

Wellington College International Bangkok – Football Training

Wellington College International Bangkok 18 Krungthep Kreetha Road Saphan Sung District, Bangkok, Thailand

Join us here at Wellington for the finest football training in town! Our Wellington Extra providers, Galaxy, have lots of extra opportunities on their programmes this year. If your child […]

฿12000 – ฿35200

BimBi Italiani – Imparando l’Italiano

Salesian Sisters Foundation Saladaeng Road, Silom, Bangrak, Bangkok, Bangkok, Bangkok, Thailand +1 more

ANNOUNCEMENT : ENROLLMENT OPEN FOR "IMPARANDO L'ITALIANO" IN BANGKOK,THAILAND For everyone in , BimBi Italiani has reopened registration for the weekly group language courses for children in Imparando l'Italiano from September […]

฿610 – ฿8610

Asobiba Art Exhibition

XSPACE GALLERY 71 15 Pridi Banomyong 14 Alley, Phra Khanong Nuea, Watthana,, Bangkok, Thailand

“Asobiba” Group exhibition by Nagoya University of the Arts and the Department of Fine Arts at KMITL At Xspace Gallery, Bangkok. (Main Hall) SHOW PERIOD: September 7 – December 22, […]

Please Contact

Alliance Française de Bangkok – French Course

Alliance Française de Bangkok 179 Witthayu road, Khwaeng Lumphini, Khet Pathum Wan, Bangkok,, Bangkok, Thailand

Great news for parents in Bangkok! Open the door to a world of linguistic and cultural discoveries for your children aged 3 to 11! Our next French course session begins […]

Please Contact

Fashionisland & The Promenade – ImmersiveGhost

Fashionisland & The Promenade 587,589, 589/7-9 , Ramintra Rd., Khannayao, Bangkok, Thailand, Bangkok, Bangkok, Bangkok, Thailand

  FirstTimeinThailand!! ImmersiveGhost October 11 - November 17 Bring back the legend of Thai ghosts to life again!!!️ Fashionisland is preparing to open the door to the world of spirits, […]

฿259 – ฿999
Get The Latest Updates

Subscribe To Our Weekly Newsletter

Get the latest kid and family-friendly activities and events in your inbox every Thursday! No spam, guaranteed.

More information

You May Also Like...